no maggots

Last Sunday afternoon Joe B and I were having a chat about varied and sundry matters when we touched on the topic of the alarming number of human carcasses’ infested with maggots in various stages of decay that had been discovered in homes in recent years. Disconcerted by the fact that this phenomenon seemed like an emerging trend, we proceeded to hypothesize as to the reason for this anomaly and how to eradicate  such an undignified atrocity. We concluded that the implementation of a simple and effective buddy system was all that was needed to ensure that others or yourself would not suffer a similar fate and become part of the seemingly new trend. Here is what you should know.

To date, it appears that all the affected persons were of retirement age and living alone. Because such persons usually guard their privacy zealously and have intermittent contact with other persons on a irregular and inconsistent basis it is highly probable that they can become  ill and die in their residence without anyone else being aware, Time will pass before they are missed and usually the stench of decaying flesh emanating from the residence is what alerts persons that something is amiss. In order to avoid the likelihood of maggots partaking of us while  still on earth, we can, starting today institute a buddy system. Make a habit of daily calling or having other contact with one or more persons within a specific timeframe. This means that if within the agreed window no contact has been made, the buddy will go in search of you. It is especially important that if you reside alone, you make the commitment today. Have someone check for you daily. While this can not stop you from dying, it could prevent the maggots from having their way with you.