testamentary will step 4

By this stage you should have all the pertinent information for the final step, Step 4 encompasses all the other information and responsibilities that is necessary to ensure all your wishes are accurately recorded for purposes of preparing your last will and testament: 

• Are you the executor/trustee of anyone’s Will? For whom? 
• Do you hold any Power of Attorney or Appointment? For whom? 
• Names and addresses of financial or personal/business advisors. 
• Names and addresses of your lawyer(s). 
• Where do you want to leave the original copy of your Will? (Safety deposit box, or with your lawyer? 
• Have you had a previous Will? When was it signed, located and when was it last reviewed? 
• Does your spouse have a Will? When was it signed, where is it located and when was it last reviewed? 
• Were both Wills (of you and your spouse) reviewed in conjunction with each other? 
• Have you had both Wills (if applicable) recently reviewed by your lawyer? 
• Have you discussed your Will with a financial planner to make sure you have taken advantage of all the estate planning strategies available? 
• Do you or your spouse wish to change any provisions in your Wills? 
• Have you considered being an organ donor on your death, and have you discussed this with your spouse? Have you completed the appropriate forms? 
• Have you considered giving an enduring Power of Attorney to someone over your affairs in certain situations (Financial or health related)? 
• Details on burial wishes and funeral service instructions. 
• Historical information for obituary purposes. 
• Names and addresses of family, relatives, and friends for notification purposes

find your joy

Christians in a topsy turvy world; is the theme for the Lenten series of evening services this week that are taking place at various Anglican churches. Not unlike the Seventh Day Adventist church services held some weeks ago, parishioners invite persons of other faiths and church slackers to attend nightly services. Last nite as I sat in a pew in the St Augustine's church between my mother and the one who invited me, I surveyed the crowd present. Persons were for the most part in various stages of retirement whose attention was riveted towards the pulpit and singing the hymns with much gusto. The calming peace and reverence, was a perfect setting befitting the theme. As Reverend doctor Gerard Frances (a Moravian pastor) preached the sermon taken from psalms 89 speaking of joy coming from within and happiness being achieved by external things, I understood that significant difference and thought that I would write today to encourage my colleagues to experience a peace that transcends when one is filled with joy deep down in your heart. I nudged my mother in her side when he spoke of Christians with long faces and unapproachable countenances ungodlike, because he said to know god is joy and anyone who hears and speaks to God should have joy and show the same. I reflected on the maturity of the crowd and wondered if it is wisdom of years or fear that draws us closer to God and church as we advance in age and mortality seems like a reality. So long as you, find your joy from within, live your joy and wear your joy for balance in this topsy turvy world, as I do, it matters not your reason. Walk good.

cougars and sugardaddies

In colloquial terms the words; cougars and sugar daddies have different meanings than when used in the natural sense. I have come to learn that in the context of the retiree these words are loaded and often met with suspicion and disdain. Persons are apt to regard the senior involved as a poppy show, another word from yesteryear, meaning an idiot. As have already been alluded to, retirement can evoke feelings of loneliness and a desire to be needed and this oft time can lead to some unlikely liaisons. Though the relationship may be mutually beneficial to both adults, unbeknownst to them, society views it with negative connotations. This is particularly evident where it is an extremely younger person that fills the void for the retiree. The female retiree is labelled by society as a cougar and in the case of a male retiree he becomes a sugar daddy in the eyes of our society and this is based solely on the age difference. The purpose of making mention of this situation is to heighten the awareness so that if you find yourself so situated you can assess your participation and determine whether it matters or matters not what society thinks and cougar or sugar daddy you will live your life for you.    
   

testamentary will step 3

This next step, is 3 towards preparing to make a Will. It lists how you want your property to be distributed. Who does and gets what? The below, though not exhaustive may be used as a guide to assist you

• In terms of cash, for whom and how much? for example; your spouse, former spouse, children with former spouse; family, relatives, friends, business associates charitable organizations, educational or other institutions
• In the event that both you and your spouse are killed at the same time e.g. plane or car crash, How do you want your property to be distributed
• Who do you want specific personal possessions to go to (describe the item(s)in detail)
• Do you have alternative beneficiaries in case designated beneficiaries predecease you or cannot be located
• Consider setting up a testamentary trust for some or all of your assets to be managed on behalf of your spouse and children
• For minor and disabled children, decide what age you want them to have access to their trust
• Would you want your executor/trustee to have the power to manage any investments to maximize returns before liquidating and paying cash to the beneficiaries  
• Who would be better to manage the investments an individual or a Trust company 

Should you have any other specific instructions you should include them on your list and discuss the implications with the person assisting you with preparing your will

fishing

 Fishing on the sea rocks...not sure this was the type of fishing that all the literature I researched cited as one of the most common activities of the retiree. Surely, they must have been referring to fishing on those yatchs you see moored at the marina with fishing poles attached at the rear. The pictures here are better than a thousand words. After repeating this ritual again and again and again with nothing in the bucket at the end of 4 hot long hours save for the head of a medium sized fish that a barracuda had bitten the rest of the body off the hook. At the of the adventure I had lost all enthusiasm for fishing, in danger of losing a friendship and was partially dehydrated. On the walk back along the coast we did find a few small whelks. I think you should give fishing on the sea rocks a try. Perhaps your story will end with you taking your catch to sell by the tamarind tree next to the market.

thanks

flower garden

 Often times retirees engage in  gardening as a pastime, vegetable and or flower in pots or in the ground. Your garden may not be as elaborate as your friend's but I guarantee that the pleasure you derive from watching your plants grown will be the same. Though  I like gardening the soil and rain does not always cooperate so along the way I admire other people's. I recall once talking about my garden to a Londoner who had occasion to visit my home and he asked where my garden was, I had forgotten that his frame of reference as regards gardens was far grander than mine. But my knowledge of the annual Chelsea Garden show convinced him that though my garden fell short of his expectations I at least knew what gardens are like elsewhere.

no cost

Every Tuesday and Thursday 6am=7am FREE aerobic and yoga exercise instructions @ Sandy Hill



go back and fetch it

Something about being retired causes a person to want to dwell on the past and make comparisons to the present. Elation is the only reason I can imagine why a number of retirees seem determined to go back and fetch the past. At the risk of having someone down strive the old dotten fool, I hasten to say that it may well be more about connecting with one’s true self.  Perhaps the fact that you cannot have a present if you didn’t have a past is all part of why we regale the past. I hope no one will fought me a lick for writing about these things cause it aint like I putting them business in the broad pa.

Stories about boiling sweet potatoes in the butter pan on fire rocks, the purpose of the brown paper covering the boiling potatoes notwithstanding that the cover on the pot is air-tight, drinking hot bush tea first thing in the morning to clean out your stomach, Ravishing the cocoa plum trees on Meads Bay on August Monday or the grape trees in the Cove during the school picnic. Some retirees go back to fetch it so far that they insist that moon light excursions, poppy day and cold butter and sugar sandwiches, the cold powder milk served at school was the best they ever had. For my part I think of being a Brownie and standing as part of the Parade on the Park in that hot sun on the Queen’s birthday unable to sit as I watch some of my peers drop in a faint. I think of the hot cross sticky buns from Sidney’s bakery kept in the little brown valise that the Catholic Church use to give the children after Sunday School, of spending the day in the fork of the tamarind tree reading the bag of books I got from Maureen Daniels. The annual dose of Epson salts chased by red soda just before the new school year began. I remember resenting my father for not being a better father, insisting that we fetch water from the standpipe daily to water the coconut trees that never bore and especially for taking away my puppy, George gave me, to give his paramour. I recall how I walked from East End to the Valley snot running down my face crying, only to be ordered back home without my puppy. Cleaning the sooty lampshade for the kerosene lamp for grandma was one of my daily chores.
 I still love the cakes from the pot outside.
 I could go back to fetch more but that would require a different blog. Reminiscing about this stuff makes me laugh now, so there must be some value in going back to fetch it. Not sure if this post will satisfy the thirst for nostalgia among the retirees but it’s a start and hopefully has evoked some fond and pleasant memories as you make your comparison to present day. Go on, go back and fetch your own experiences.

testamentary will step 2

Having gathered all the information about your property as outlined in the post titled Testamentary Will Step1, we can move on to Step 2 which entails identifying a person or persons to be  executor of your will, a trustee, lawyer or guardian for any minor or incapacitated children, if applicable. You would want to take great care to ensure the person(s) are suitable to carry out your wishes; here are a few things to contemplate when choosing.

• Make sure that the person agrees to this job
• Take into account the skills, attributes or resources  making them suitable for the job
• What relationship is the person to you
• Get their full names and addresses
• Let them know the location of your Will
• Let them know the location of your safety deposit box
• List alternative persons in the event the named ones are unable to serve
• Look at the benefits of having a lawyer or trust company before making a decision

Following this process we should prepare an outline of the beneficiaries of the Will next.

plan

Prospective retirees should be focusing on three significant areas as regards their retirement vision. The retiree has already figured this out but it doesn’t hurt to revisit and revise the plan if necessary. Adapt the 7ps, a phrase often used in successful marketing and which can be applicable in this instance: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. In order to achieve success whatever the occasion I have found it useful to make a plan. Not unlike Abraham Lincoln who said “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four hours sharpening the axe” I explore multiple options before deciding on the best for my circumstance. However, while I planned prior for my retirement it still has become necessary for me, given the inflation and relative cost of living, as well as longevity risks(living longer than my money lasts) to revise my plan. So you see, a plan helps and also makes it easier to vary should situations change. Start to plan now and give some consideration to (1) How you will spend your time (2) What your budget will look like (3) Where your money will come from. Once you have figured out a plan for each of these areas you are well on your way to a secure and happy next stage, stress free. Thus your retirement performance should be stellar because you planned properly prior.

How Pension Benefits are calculated in the Anguilla Public Service

In order to understand how pension benefits are calculated we must first define some key terms:

Ø  Pension- a monthly sum paid in arrears at the end of month

Ø  Gratuity- a one-time lump sum payment made on the date of retirement

 In the Anguilla Public service Pension benefits are calculated using two formulas. The applicable formula depends on the employee’s start date. Person entering the service prior to January 1, 2004, have a combination of two formulas while those entering on or after the aforementioned date have a single formula.

Pension Formulas (Section 50 & 51- Pensions Act 2014)

If employment commenced before 2004:

Full Pension= N/600 x Annual Pensionable Emoluments + N/960 x Annual Pensionable Emoluments

If employment commenced on or after January 1, 2004:

N/960 x Annual Pensionable Emoluments

Rate of annual pension earned in the first formula is 2% per year (1/600 x 12 x 100) and in the second is 1.25 % (1/960 x 12 x 100).

Explanation of variable used in the above formulas

N = years of service converted to months of service

600 and 960 = fixed Actuarially determined values

Gratuity Formula (Section 58- Pensions Act 2014)

In both cases, gratuity is obtained using the following formula:

Gratuity = Full Pension x 0.25 x 12.5

Opting for gratuity means that full pension (100%) must be reduced to (75% or 0.75)

Numerical Example

An employee commenced work on January 1, 1985 and retires on December 31, 2014. The employees has a total of 30 years of service. On the employee’s sixtieth birthday, an option to receive a gratuity and a reduced pension is made. At retirement the employee was receiving an annual salary of EC$80,000.00.

Years prior to 2004 = 19 or 228 months

Years after 2004 = 11 or 132 months

Full Pension 228/600 x 80,000 = EC$30,400.00

                              132/960 x 80,000 = EC$11,000.00

Total Full Pension = EC$41,400.00

This employee would have received annual pension payments of EC$41,400 or EC$3,450 per month.

 Gratuity and reduced Pension

Gratuity                               EC$41,400 x 0.25 x 12.5 = EC$129,375    

Reduced Pension                EC$41,400 x 0.75 = EC$31,050 per year or EC$2,587.50

Section 41(Pensions Act 2014)

·        Maximum Pension

The maximum that one can earn is 2/3 of annual pensionable emoluments. In the above case 2/3 x 80,000 = EC$53,333.00 per year. The above employee did not reach the maximum pension.

·        Social security Offset

If the pension received by an employee from the Public Service Pension Fund is added to that received by the Social Security Board and the total exceeds 80% of highest pensionable emoluments previously earned, the amount of pension paid by the PSPF can be reduced.

*adapted from the PSPF

hmm

There was no room inside so I was sitting in one of two tents erected outside the St. Mary’s church yesterday where I was attending the funeral of a friend. As the visiting Minister was preaching, whom I later understood was a relative in law; he made a statement regarding behavior of relatives about property of deceased persons after the burial. The vast number of persons nodding their heads in agreement to the Minister confirmed the need as he said “… to put your business in order.” Immediately my mind went to Friday’s post about preparing a Will and wondered of the hundreds in attendance how many had a Last Will and Testament?  Following that thought, was the comment of one of the avid readers of my blog who wrote to me that “Friday isn’t a day for morbid posts” Never once had I  thought of the preparation of a Will as being morbid or even that one day instead of another made a difference. I took that comment onboard and appreciated its content.

In my naiveté I had failed to realize that persons (in this case thirty- something) may be reluctant to deal with matters relating to death as it pertains to themselves and I must find another approach to encourage the preparation of such a vital instrument. This is particularly necessary as I have found out that the majority of readers of my blog are not the retiree but rather the prospective retiree. Truth be known, I am flattered as this is a good thing and I will aim to be more sensitive to my audience. Perhaps there is need for a softer more appropriate approach in some areas.   

sign up

testamentary will step 1

A news story yesterday brought attention to the fact that plans were being made for what happens after the death of HRH, in an article dubbed “Operation London Bridge: the secret plan for the days after the Queen’s death”. It was quite eerie but sufficiently compelling enough to remind myself and others that like Queen Elizabeth we should make sure our business is in order. There will be no shaming of the procrastinators but today we will get started on the Will, no pun intended. With manageable increments taking one step at a time we cannot get overwhelmed with the task. The first step is to take an inventory of our possessions. This is to help  identify your assets for purposes of including in your last Will and Testament. The list below can help you get started, it is just a guide.  It is possible that all of your items may not be included and some may not be applicable to you.

•  Cash and bank accounts, where located and account number
•  Location of safety deposit box and important papers
•  Life insurance policies with whom, for what amount, beneficiary
•  Shares, pension; stocks, bonds 
•  Your house, type of ownership, current market value amount of your equity ,mortgage
•  Rental property value, equity, mortgage. land value and location
•  Businesses information owned, partnership, companies you have interest in
•  Any inheritance expected money or assets
•  Personal effects
•  Household furnishings cars, boats, jewellery, other belongings of sentimental value

 You may want  to use this weekend to complete step 1. Next week step 2 list  helps you decide who is best  to administer your estate.

free

When was the last time you heard the word free? it is seldom used in these parts for services, in particular. But sometimes it is just a matter of asking and you may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome. Dawn has agreed to facilitate free aerobic instructions at the Sandy Hill beach on Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 6-7 am. She is a retired army officer, a yoga enthusiast and has been certified as an aerobics instructor.  
 Dawn has returned home and believes as Ivor does, that “it’s good to do something for society even it is just a little. It makes a difference in your quality of life" this, he knows from experience and observing people. 

Dawn who usually walks down to the beach with her mug of coffee and her dog trailing after her in the early morning have no problem with offering her time and service free of charge. There are a number of us at the beach early in the morning but others that would like to participate, are free to and more than welcome just bring your towel and drinking water. What’s better that something free first thing in the morning? 

time flies

 It is half way through March 2017. Christmas it seems was but a few weeks ago particularly since the Douglas fir I intended to recycle is still in the stand though outdoors now. How time is flying. This morning having decided to install two new widgets on the blog (you should notice the horoscope at the end of the page and the new weather look) I started at 6:45am when I returned from the beach.  Before I knew it the clock said 12:32pm the time had flown with me none the wiser. So as I hurried to make my 1:15pm volunteer commitment I marveled at how time flies. It has been 16 years since I repatriated, wow that seems like a couple years ago and then it is almost 6 months since my retirement. Is it just me or do you also think that time flies? If we agree that time flies we must manage what time we have to ensure that we make the most of each moment. I am in agreement with teacher Robin when he said, though he can’t remember where he got the quote, “Time wasted follows through life”.  Plan to do the things that matter to you, don’t put off today for tomorrow, we don’t get an opportunity today to do anything on yesterday’s time. Let’s make today count and if time flies we must keep pace.

reading

blah moments

There were days, when in the workforce, you didn’t feel like going to work and would call in sick that day. Those blah days still exist now that you are retired, except of course there is no one to call and you are already at home, so what do you do? Everyone has those blah moments which are caused by any number of reasons including boredom, loneliness or flu symptoms. How we choose to handle this natural emotion is important. You can give in to the moment and withdraw by spending the day in bed getting some much deserved rest or you may choose to acknowledge how you feel but get involved in an activity that does not require much concentration. Attempts to alleviate the blah, can be achieved by activities such as looking at flowers, trimming a tree,  listening to music, cleaning cobwebs, chasing after wood slaves or conversing with a friend. I can attest to all those being effective for reversing that not so chipper feeling. To my mind though, the most productive of the lot has been the pick me up conversation with friends I hadn’t connected with for a while, following which I would have forgotten I was feeling blah. Depending on your persuasion your activity list to chase away the blues may be much more colourful than mine. But as long as the means justify the end, do whatever it takes that enables you to while away the blah moments and resume your more jovial disposition in the shortest time.

view from the rooftop

By now all of the retirees would have attained the pinnacle of success in their life’s ambition and career or at the very least approaching that apex. Figuratively speaking, you have arrived at your rooftop.  This is the opportune time to view your life from that acme. Reflect on how you got here, the struggles, the challenges, lessons learned, triumphs and failures. If you had a chance to do it over, would you change anything, what and why?

The view from the rooftop should encapsulate your entire life experiences. The opportunity should provide insight into what made you and created your legacy. For posterity you are encouraged to chronicle your life’s journey to date, as you continue to write the remaining chapters. Record your story in written form, as opposed to oral form where versions change and become unrecognizable as time goes by. When you write the narrative, facts cannot be distorted or misrepresented. From the rooftop view I cannot over emphasize the need to record everything. Perhaps if my ancestors had reduced their stories to writing, today I would be able to share with you some of them. Save for a single aged document evidencing one relative took an offspring to Court for land, all other tales are word of mouth accounts that lends to innuendo and propaganda. Be the author and share your view from the roof.

bucket lists

I grew up on the White Hill where when referring to someone who had died it was normal to say for e.g. Vanter kicked the bucket and passed the white house. So the release of the 2007 movie The Bucket List reaffirmed that the bucket meant death and we were on to something. A bucket list logically would be all the grandiose things a person dreamt of doing during his lifetime. There is really no set time to execute your bucket list, just so you do it before you die and since we do not know the appointed time it is safe to start working on the list as soon as possible just in case.

Whether you are retired or not the point here is to think of those things you would like to do in your lifetime, make a list and do them. If you are presently retired and still got some things outstanding on your bucket list now is as good a time as any to check them off the list. For my part the most ambitious thing on my imaginary list yet to be accomplished is simple. One day I would like to sit on the step of a rum shop (speak easy) all day from about 9:30 in the morning until about 7 o’clock in the evening. The purpose would be to witness and record firsthand how alcohol influences the behavior of the patrons from the start and follow the progress throughout the day. This is something that has always fascinated me. I anticipate that being a non-drinker  plus the fact that such establishments are almost extinct may present some challenges. But I will be calm and carry on my search hoping to listen and learn from the various pontifications on a myriad of issues current and not so timely and hopefully pick up some tips. What is on your bucket list and how soon will you check off the activities? 

daybreak

be that friend

Wisdom comes with age and experience. At this juncture in your life you have no doubt amassed a wealth of it. You would be surprised to know that your journey may be similar and of interest to someone in need of a friend. Do not be afraid to foster a relationship of respect, trust and confidentiality as this can be mutually rewarding. Be that friend, the confidante, the shoulder to cry on, quick to suggest alternative actions but being prudent in giving advice.

During my rebellious teenage years when my mother couldn’t persuade me to do the right thing it was her best friend that was able to reach me. Years later I surmised that the approach of the friend was more logical and less emotionally charged and thus I reacted much more positively. My success today is in large part attributable to the intervention of that friend.

a truism

sheer ecstasy

Volunteerism is one of those activities that I advocate for the retiree. You get so much for doing so little. Yesterday was one of those days when the giddiness of the moment was truly exhilarating. The genesis of this excitement was caused by the  superb harmonization of two tenor saxophonists and three alto saxophones playing How Great Thou Art and other hymns at the Rosewood Centre in Sandy Hill, ahhh... a perfect blend. The occasion was the monthly activity where Kelley and the Rising Stars,  a group of saxophonists of which I am a part,  in collaboration with the staff of the Anguilla Public Library attended at Rosewood to entertain the residents and day time guests through reading, singing and music. The joy and appreciation on the faces of the staff and patrons alike, as they followed along was more than enough to erase all the long hours of practice with painful lips. My participation in this voluntary service brings me a sense of triumph and euphoria. Today, Kelley and the Rising Stars will continue at the Tender Loving Care facility in the Valley, rendering another stellar performance. Spreading happiness to those within  while honing our musical skills is genius. Consider volunteering, get involved in an activity you are passionate about, experience fulfilment on a totally different level, the ecstatic moments are priceless. 

debunking the myths

 Retirement is not synonymous with elderly. The difference between the two is that retirement is the withdrawal from work, as in employment whereas elderly is being old or aged. While the elderly would have retired at some point, it is not necessary that retired persons are elderly. Persons in their early thirties, forties, fifties, sixties or even seventies that are retired can by no means be referred to as elderly. One reader intimated that the social life of a retired person can become more monotonous and predictable. Quite contra, if you think about it, retirement offers diversity on a daily basis whereas a regular job requires you to do the same task repeatedly. While the reader’s comment may be spot on as regards the daily activity of the elderly, it is not so for the retiree who can engage in different activities daily. Having made the foregoing distinction we can refocus on the target group which is the prospective and current retirees both of whom can benefit from the information.
 
The prospective retiree can start planning for when and how they will leave the workforce from mid-career, far enough in advance to avoid any emotional or financial pitfalls. This is  especially advantageous  given that there is sufficient time to map their trajectory, unlike the  current retiree.  As at the present time the retiree benefit from the information only as an assist to coping with the transition. The blog aims to motivate, inspire, empower, support and inform on relevant matters of retirement. Wherein most persons should find and be able to utilize some useful information.

don't chase replace

One of the things that being retired afford you is time to be objective. You actually have time to read between the lines, read the fine print so to speak, assess the situation and realize that you have options. When my long time plumber didn’t show up after 4 weeks of calling him, it was time to take the hint. I stopped chasing him and replaced him with a younger more energetic plumber who responds within a few hours. The previous plumber is still in bewilderment. It took my retired BFF to tell me that the yardman was dodging me. I had gone to pick him up from his house 3 times and he was not there notwithstanding he set the time and promised to be ready. I stopped chasing him and replaced him with one that though he cut down the shrubs he shouldn’t ,at least he shows up as promised.    
Similarly, difficult as it may be we must acknowledge that chasing and replacing on a social level happens too. People come into your life for a reason and or a season after which it may become necessary to let them go and move on. It makes no good sense and is a waste of valuable time chasing a friendship that has run its course. Instead keep your memories, find new friends and build some new friendships which will be far more in tuned with your current circumstance.

keeping pace

Vow to become technologically knowledgeable, it is liberating and opens up a whole new world of experiences that will assist the retiree with adapting to this ever changing technological world. I can recall the day my mother then 83, she is now 86, showed up to visit carrying her Tablet which she proceeded to use to take pictures. It took me a while to recover from the astonishment. You should understand I was in awe (and proud) because I had not yet purchased a tablet being content with the laptop and smart phone. Her NRSV bible and crossword puzzles are bookmarked for easy access, she sends and receives emails and can browse the internet. She now has a Smartphone with WhatsApp and uses a number of different apps.
For those contemporaries lagging behind due to an imagined phobia and are still not savoir-faire with the technology you must keep pace or miss out on so much. Be inspired by my mother’s story. She sought help from a trusted friend, learned and was able to show off her skills and put us to shame. Invest the needed time and effort in yourself I promise it will be rewarding.

surprisingly

When I did my personal recharge I had to acknowledge a number of things that had been altered in my life since retiring. I will share 6 of the most interesting revelations, in no particular order, that changed since retirement:
Before I did the crosswords daily now I do jigsaw puzzles daily
Before I did not listen to the radio now I listen for headlines and death announcements
Before I made the bed now I do not make up my bed
Before I seldom wore sandals now all my new footwear are sandals
Before I got up early now I get up even earlier
Before I had zero tolerance for tardiness and mediocrity now I am learning to forgive
What were some of the things you noticed had changed about you? For your efforts the below can be yours, please join me

not so funny now

For a lighter read, today I share with you the excerpt from an email that years ago my colleague Dorothy Jean and I, then in our early 40s, thought was something to laugh about. But this past week when she re-sent this email it wasn’t as funny, hmm, what a difference a few years make. Perhaps you can relate.  It was entitled; being over 50 does have its advantages...

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.

4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.

9. You can live without sex (but not without glasses).

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

15. You sing along with the elevator music.

16. Your eyes won't get much worse.

17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

21. You can't remember who sent you this.

just say no

Today's post offers some straight forward common sense. Do not lend money you cannot afford to lose. This advice does not just apply to retirees, it is a general rule applicable across the board. For some unknown reason(s) persons and in particular family members and close friends are of the misguided belief that a retiree has lots of money and should loan/give it to them when they ask. Adult children, siblings and grandchildren are the main culprits and will get an attitude if refused.
Hold on to your money; but if you feel compelled out of some sense of loyalty to hand over your money, make sure the amount you give will not set you back too far, if you never see it again. The best thing you can do in order to preserve a friendship, is just say no to the person who wants to borrow money from you.

no maggots

Last Sunday afternoon Joe B and I were having a chat about varied and sundry matters when we touched on the topic of the alarming number of human carcasses’ infested with maggots in various stages of decay that had been discovered in homes in recent years. Disconcerted by the fact that this phenomenon seemed like an emerging trend, we proceeded to hypothesize as to the reason for this anomaly and how to eradicate  such an undignified atrocity. We concluded that the implementation of a simple and effective buddy system was all that was needed to ensure that others or yourself would not suffer a similar fate and become part of the seemingly new trend. Here is what you should know.

To date, it appears that all the affected persons were of retirement age and living alone. Because such persons usually guard their privacy zealously and have intermittent contact with other persons on a irregular and inconsistent basis it is highly probable that they can become  ill and die in their residence without anyone else being aware, Time will pass before they are missed and usually the stench of decaying flesh emanating from the residence is what alerts persons that something is amiss. In order to avoid the likelihood of maggots partaking of us while  still on earth, we can, starting today institute a buddy system. Make a habit of daily calling or having other contact with one or more persons within a specific timeframe. This means that if within the agreed window no contact has been made, the buddy will go in search of you. It is especially important that if you reside alone, you make the commitment today. Have someone check for you daily. While this can not stop you from dying, it could prevent the maggots from having their way with you.  

so many books

Spend time at the library. There seems to be a misnomer that the public library is only for children. Like the staff at the public library, it has been some time since I have seen adults (retirees) sitting in the library leafing through magazines or reading a book or draft legislation. Did you know that you can use the computer there to write, research, check and send emails or just surf the internet. You can peruse the displays on a variety of different topics.  The current display features black history

So many books so little time...Browsing the library can be so much fun, free of cost and good for you. There is so much you can learn. Sitting in  the library you get to observe other patrons and sometimes even eavesdrop on conversations (that’s ok because no one is supposed to be talking in the library anyway). you can enjoy the comfort of air conditioning in a safe environment, use your tablet if you brought it along to read your ebook. The library has free WI-FI.  It is possible that you will discover relatives that you didn't  know you had and of course you can always make a young friend or two. Before you leave, use your library card to check out(borrow)a DVD or book. Remember to return them once you have finished using as late fees are accessed for overdue returns. Take some time one day soon and stop by the public library, you will be glad you did.The friendly staff at the library is expecting you and will be happy to assist you.