hike

Life is what you make it! You can choose to be  a victim of circumstance and have a pity party or you may choose to live life. I chose to live my dream, if you don't have one, I invite you to live vicariously through me. This speaks in particular to those afraid to venture outside their comfort zone which would enable them to experience new things. There's always opportunity to take the first step; start this weekend by attending the Flower and Garden show, the Heineken Regatta or come hiking with me. You have options pick one or do all three.

Because a picture is worth a thousand words, the below tells a story only you  can conjecture up. On a hike there's no telling what you will come across. 

 

 

recharge

Stop, find a quiet place, reminisce, resolve to improve self, be grateful for blessings.

friend with benefits

In our society there are acquaintances, associates, colleagues, contacts, friends, and then there is that distinctive category known as friends with benefits. Of the aforementioned, the latter is the most common as per my definition especially because the overwhelming number of my friends fall in this group. Here’s how I deduced such. Humour me for a moment and follow the logic. When my BFF explained that she was on her way to the Valley to pay her Digicel bill and was obliged to stop by a friend, to collect the remittance, to make a payment at the same place, it became obvious that this act performed by my BFF caused her friend to be the benefactor of her generosity and because it was not the first time the friend had asked for such a favour, she had without intending to, become a friend with benefits.    So last week when that same friend gave my BFF a sweet gourd, pommserates (sp) an avocado together with some sugar apples which she shared with me, my BFF became a friend with benefits to me. Similarly, the myriad of friends who bake me rolls, make me seafood pasta, makes lasagna and cheesecake, gives me various gifts, mow the yard at no cost, helps me build a bench or sends a spouse to make sure I am doing well and bring me nourishment for a cold, I could go on and on but I think you get the point.  Hence it is  abundantly clear that because I benefit from these friends regularly the extraordinary honour of friends with benefits should be bestowed on each and every one. Hopefully,you can relate.

The post today is dedicated to all friends with benefits. Malcolm, the ultimate friend with benefits, I salute you. Friends are always good to have but the Friend with Benefits at this juncture is sacrosanct and should be revived. Their generosities and thoughtfulness should never be taken for granted. Remember to always express genuine appreciation and to reciprocate in kind, live by example, be the benefactor. Always practice the golden rule “do unto others as you would have them do to you.”  Perchance you come across a different meaning of the term friend with benefits; ponder upon which is the more appropriate definition.

perks

Directly or indirectly there is usually a perk that goes along with the attainment of a status. For example the politician gets to travel first class, the celebrity gets the best table at the restaurant, and the head of department gets a telephone for work. Universally there are a host of other categories of persons and benefits to go along. Senior citizens, which include retirees and pensioners, have specific benefits and privileges bestowed upon them. These perks include discounts, exemptions and privileges.  In Anguilla, when your status changes to pensioner/retiree you get to stand in a designated line at the bank. That’s your direct perk. The indirect ones are left to society’s acknowledgement. 

In the absence of perks specific to them, the retiree can utilize the weekly 12% discount at Lakes Grocery on Tuesday and Thursday. Or use the MASA card to get a 10% off purchases at participating stores. Ashley and Sons, when you purchase, offers a point system which can be redeemed at any time. Best Buy also has a point system which can be redeemed at the end of the year. J W Proctors offers general discounts as well. However, if you travel out of Anguilla (there is a discount on airline tickets) to places like the UK and USA you will be able to access discounts to movies, for meals, ground transportation, medical and most services offered. In order to take full advantage of the range of benefits make sure that when you travel overseas you have identification attesting to your age.

overseas travel

Every once in a while a change of scenery is essential. It allows one to appreciate what one currently has. A place dubbed the playground of the rich and famous, is the ideal location to explore with curiosity, being neither rich nor famous, to see what all the fuss is about,  Choose a day as I did. The sea was calm the sky cloudless the perfect day to sojourn to foreign soil. An excursion on St. Barth.

Take the first boat from Anguilla to Marigot. Do not leave the pier the ferry booth is on the right when you exit Immigration. Take the first ferry from St.Maarten to St. Barth. Purchase a same day round trip ticket. The ferry returns to sxm with lots of time to take the 7pm boat back to Anguilla. For an affordable sum you can enjoy going over seas for the day. 

in danger of letting yourself go

So your body image is not what it used to be. For some of us that beer belly is expanding and the rolls around the midriff appear to have doubled overnight and morphed into a muffin top. The truth of the matter is that as you age things go south and that hourglass figure is now a minute maid citrus. The trick to keeping up is to bear in mind the saying “when life serves you lemons, make lemonade.”  Do the best with what you have. Buy a hairpiece if losing your hair is an issue; get a body slimmer if the belly jiggles too much. Colour your hair whatever shade you like, get a hair weave your ideal length or a tattoo, body piercing, nose ring or toe ring.  Do whatever it takes to make you feel relevant and good about you. Frumpy is a term that conjures up a negative image but chic has an opposite and positive connotation. Let’s think fabulously chic and present ourselves with confidence.

 You will no doubt come across those persons intent on  making you feel negative about your image; acknowledge but regal in the fact that they look far worse than you do. You have my permission to tell them just that. I guarantee it will render them speechless. I know, because I had to answer a few. The days of seeking others approval for your happiness are long gone. Create your own unique style, however quirky, step with confidence, step with purpose. When my BFF steps out these days she leaves home adorned in her fire red lipstick and blushes when complimented. I learned something last week when I overheard a conversation between two persons talking about the fact that they use to walk slower and appeared to be dragging but now when they walk faster they look and feel better. That made sense; there is a correlation between a purposeful stride and exuberance of confidence.  Hmm, therein lays the secret, I always get accused of walking too fast. Unknowingly I had been doing what these were just discovering. Far from letting myself go, as I pin today’s post feeling ridiculously awesome, I am adorned in my short red dress, salt water pearls, and sling backs. For no other reason than to attest to the fact that feeling good is self made.  

unplugged

reach out

Two things happened yesterday, one was my mother’s 86th birthday the other an appreciation for being able to connect and disconnect at will. The latter is weightier in this instance. I thought I would reach out since I had not heard from my friend and went to visit  her armed with lunch and iPad as I intended to stay for a while, but no good deed goes unpunished. When I arrived she had a visitor, her 2 year old granddaughter. Today, I can relate to the term terrible twos. This day with no interest in Peppa Pig, it was terror unleashed. How could one so small talk so much, eat all day everything and anything and get into all sorts of mischief for the fun of it, I am still exhausted thinking about it. We accomplished nothing, not even a conversation in the ensuing 8 hours save, to be aware of the rooster that crowed throughout the day and her screaming (crying without tears) at the top of her lungs and demanding her grandma put on her shoes and go to catch the rooster. My friend ever so patient was a wreck at the end of the day having fetched and carried, moved to and fro, back and forth at her granddaughter's whim and fancy all day. I, on the other hand realized that connecting and bonding can be accomplished in a myriad of ways and that face to face with a two year old at this age  (retirement)was not recommended for longer than 5 minutes, anything more is a serious health risk . 

 Video chats and voice calls via Hang out, Blackberry messenger, Skype, Whatsapp or Instachat are all free social media that can be utilized provided you have a smart phone and wi fi thus, there is no reason you cannot stay in touch. Ever so often some of my colleagues from work will reach out and ask how I am doing. It is always a thrill to hear from them I usually hastily respond with a greeting, thank you and my query as to how they are doing. Though I subscribe to the notion, it is better to give than receive, I lapse. Unfortunately, I am not as diligent as I can be with initiating the contact as I fear that my call would be at the inopportune moment and a disturbance to the individual. But I resolve to do better and encourage you to every once in a while reach out and connect with friends and past colleagues. Two days ago I invited colleagues from my last job to my home to hear me play the sax. It was good catching up and seeing them again. Stay connected, be first to extend the invitation. 

I far from finish

Attaining the status of Retiree is a privilege not afforded to all. This privilege gives us an opportunity to steer a different course, go in another direction, influence change and be a contributing member of society by using the skills and life lessons acquired prior. Get involved in what’s happening in your community. Approach your church or civic leader and let them know you are available to assist if needed. Offer your services as a volunteer; let a Principal know that you are available to mentor and can tutor at the Primary School.  The Anguilla Red Cross is always seeking volunteers, contact them. Most likely you will be welcomed in the area you are interested in and will find the experience very rewarding. Just recently I was invited to speak with the Girls Brigade, I totally enjoyed the opportunity and let them know I would be available again should they need me. I have played the Sax at Homes for the Elderly and loved it. To quote one Soca artiste, I far from finish. If you are going to volunteer remember you should be enthusiastic about your subject and audience in order to make it enjoyable for all.

Whatever your skill sets, there is bound to be a need somewhere. If you enjoy group activities consider becoming a member of the Anguilla Association of Retired Persons they conduct regular meetings and have several big activities during the year including a trip to neighbouring St Martin. Surround yourself with friends occasionally, get involved, join an organization, a group of like-minded persons such as ANCAA or other crafters that meet on weekends. A membership with the Anguilla National Trust will give you nature walks and hikes and admission to various workshops and talks. I am a part of a Saxophonist group we meet twice a week; we released a Christmas  CD last year and contemplating cutting another CD of gospel later this year.  If a group that would interest you does not exist, create one. Start a book club, start a group chat, start a band. Do something! anything.

mystery solved

When my friend took her 7 year old to the doctor because of the excruciating pain he was experiencing, the doctor told her the discomfort was growing pains. If we accept that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, it stands to reason that when the retiree loses body mass there is likely to be aches and pains. While no one warns that the weeks following retirement may be plagued with anomalies of the body you should be prepared mentally, physically, psychologically and financially for the eventuality. It may be likely that the conditions existed pre-retirement but, without the distraction of work you will have more time to listen to your body. Any added stress of adjusting to retirement may also exacerbate any pre existing illnesses. The results can be traumatic. 

One day after speaking with 5 retirees and hearing the details of different ailments in varying degrees and names neither of us could pronounce or knew existed I was disconcerted and seriously thought I had contacted an amalgamation of the lot. I vowed that day I would not endure such a fate again. Hearing one lamentation per day per person is all I need as a reality check and that as much as I could, would encourage persons not to be addicted to talking about their ills but speak more of the positive things in their live. There is no mystery about why you feel the way you do. Aches and pains are a fact of life, do what you must to alleviate them but continue to live a jolly life though it may be difficult sometimes. Quit spreading gloom and doom spread love instead.

let it go

By the time you reach retirement age you would have no doubt accumulated lots of stuff, some valuable some not so valuable. But hopefully, you are not a candidate for the reality show extreme hoarding. This juncture provides a great opportunity to reassess why you are holding on to some things. If you had been doing your periodic dumping, this experience will not be as dramatic as, for those who have never discarded any of their belongings. Most important in deciding what to part with or what to keep is whether the item adds value to your life (make you happy) or whether the re-sale of  the item can  sustain you later in life. Guided by this simple principle you will no longer be overwhelmed by the thought of tackling the task of de-cluttering and simplifying your life and space.

Start with the easy one first. Get rid of work apparel you will no longer have use for. If you wore a uniform for work, gift the new and unused garments to a friend of similar size and statute, discard the worn out pieces. Resist the urge to hold on to the uniform outfit that you no longer need. If you have the desire to see yourself in it one more time, dress up in it, take a picture of yourself, frame it and get rid of the uniform. In the circumstance where you did not wear uniforms for work, unless you are going to work again (after retirement) your work clothes can be donated to a friend, a person in need or a charitable organization of choice. Five years ago a friend gave me a top she no longer wanted, it became a favourite of mine I wear it all the time in fact as recent as yesterday.  This give credence to the adage that One man's trash can be another man's treasure. People are proud and so you have to be mindful about asking folks if they want your old clothes. Fortunately for me, some lady at my mother’s church asked her to ask me and so from handbag to shoe she has benefited. I am certainly not interested in knowing who she is. Then there is my sister from another mother who comes to my closet and helps herself whenever. Further I am  instructed to call her first before I dispose of any items of whatever type. My closet de-clutter is a breeze and yours can be too. That, being out of the way we can move on to other areas and rooms with determination, one baby step at a time.

The experts say that if you have not used or worn something for a year you should get rid of it. But I say, if in the last 5 years you have not worn or used an item you have permission to give serious consideration to discarding it. Choose strategically the next area for clearing out. Do not attempt every area all at once, that is a recipe for frustration. I have found that small areas give a sense of accomplishment in short time. Set a realistic goal for completion of specific tasks and try to meet them. I take as many breaks as necessary to get the job done.  Please don’t move stuff from one area to the next with the intent "to maybe" keep it, it will only stay in the new spot for another era. Admittedly, it is hard to get rid of your stuff, be prepared for that. If you have the patience or inclination you can always get rid of  unwanted stuff by having a yard sale to ensure it would have a new life and you can earn a little money, hopefully.  Make your decision to downsize and stick with it. Always keep the principle happy and money in mind. While everyone work at a different pace  and in a different style the end result is the same,change. After you have discarded all the unnecessary stuff you feel lighter, have more space and can truly exhale.    
N.B.  In the  spirit of full disclosure, I must divulge the fact that the daughter of my retired BFF requested that I address this issue on my blog. I hope the post accomplishes what she hoped it would.

amor

It is worth mentioning that the one retired couple I know, that actually went out to dinner on Valentine's Day did so to impress friends and acquaintances. Thank goodness the majority of retirees do not find it necessary to keep up appearances, particularly with reduced spending power. The majority is to be commended and encouraged for managing limited  resources while exercising prudence in spending and enjoying themselves. They instead opted for a cosy intimate evening reminiscing about expressions of passions and dining out prior; while making commitments to relive the experiences daily.

No flowers came today, is it because I am now retired or because of the state of the economy and less disposal income?  Since for me, the glass is always half full, it must be that after 14 years the cost of flowers has spiralled out of the reach of the donor, financially. For now, the Valentine's Day bouquet is a distant memory, a pleasant one nonetheless. It is only speculation on my part, but the absence of flowers this year could signal the end of an era and the start of a more meaningful introspective.

The sobering takeaway from the fact that none came today, reinforces the notion espoused by Will L. Ketner  that "When you feel too important, remember the weather determines the  size of your funeral".  Another one of life's valuable lessons.

sex on the beach

Speaking of healthy and fun activity, last night was a ridiculously awesome one. The exciting occasion started at Shoal Bay East where a diverse group of 4 friends, all seniors, ranging from the most recent retiree to a 92 year old, met at the newest eatery, to have dinner (budgeted for of course) on a rare occasion to celebrate friendships.  The conversation was lively the mood festive and laughter rang out over the pounding nearby surf. During this time of catching up and reminiscing there was no occasion for remembering aches, pains or other bothersome issues. So, to my view, this activity was very healthy because as the old adage goes, “laughter is the best medicine”. The emanating energy could only be categorized as therapeutic.

After a while, the camaraderie was fleetingly suspended when the server came to the table to ask if we were ready for cocktails. The visitor from California calmly asked if she could have sex on the beach and the server said yes. Following that exchange you could hear a pin drop and the look on the face of the 92 year old was priceless. Unaware of the table dynamic the server turned his attention to the 92 year old who with some mortification retorted “You are out of place, I surely don’t want what you offered her. What is going in this place?” Much to her chagrin laughter erupted at the table before the server could, with the greatest humility; painstakingly explain that sex on the beach was a drink served from the bar. That it was a concoction of peach schnapps, vodka, orange juice and lots of love. That hilarious moment created a memory etched in our minds to provide laughter in years to come. The exchange of views on related topics formed the basis for animated discussions throughout the rest of  night amidst virgin mojitos, gin rickies and of course sex on the beach.

Much can be learnt by being in the company of others. I recommend you try socializing occasionally getting together with a diverse group and just laugh. It’s a good thing.

where there is a will

The promised exploration of other possibilities for healthy fun activities gives way today to a topic that is taboo for many. Out of necessity and a sense of urgency I digress.

The subject of mortality may conjure up all sorts of negative images in one’s mind but as my BFF so elegantly put it this weekend on her visit home to attend 3 funerals “what the hell, everyone has to die.”  That was in response to my statement that I was not attending the funerals. It is true that death is inevitable yet for some inexplicable reason a majority of persons are reluctant to prepare instructions for the distribution of their property when they no longer have use for it. If I had a dollar for the number of times persons say they have to think about and make a Will I would be far better off financially than at present. Persons make up all kind of excuses why they don’t follow through. The most common reason being you that because you have no land/ house there is no need. However, your personal property like jewelry, clothing, vehicles, furniture, bank CD, shares and other cherished items can form the basis for your Will ensuring that these things go to the person(s) you want to have them. If you die without having a Will the law will determine how your belongings are distributed among your surviving relatives, even the ones you don’t like.

Death can attend at any time. I had one niece who died at age 14 another at 36, both in good health without warning. Conversely, my maternal grandmother passed away at age 104, my paternal grandmother at 97. There is no set time, but at this stage of our lives it is presumed that retirees have all the necessary instruments of conveyance prepared for that eventuality. If not, I cannot emphasize sufficiently the necessity of making a will. My paternal grandmother made her Will 15 years prior to her death. Of course at that time most of the property listed had already been disposed of by her, which brings to bear the need to review and update the Will as circumstances change something she had not done.

 Your last Will and Testament need not be a sophiscated document written in old English on parchment paper. It can be as simple as a handwritten document signed and witnessed by at least two persons. The Legal Aid Clinic associated with the Department of Social Welfare offers assistance to persons and from time to time hold workshops explaining the intricacies of estate planning (including wills). Templates and forms to help can also be found on the internet.  Any lawyer can assist you, for a small fee, with making a will and can update it as you deem necessary. Of course you can change your mind about who gets what whenever you want to. You should know that there is another type of Will called a Living Will this would come into effect if you are seriously injured and cannot speak for yourself to give instructions to doctors. Information such as if you are brain dead and on life support do you want to be removed or resuscitated this document instructs who to do what and when. Also contained can be instructions as to donation of your body parts and disposal of your remains. Give some serious thought to the making a will while you cannot speak from the grave you can beforehand. The most important difference between the two Wills is that one speaks after you die the other when you are not dead but cannot speak for yourself. You need both.

Whew… that was some heavy stuff and understandably persons avoid speaking of it. But now it is out of the way and can we continue to focus on living a ridiculously awesome life.    

right fit

Being a retiree can be liberating. You now have full permission to do as you want, no boundaries imposed by the institutional workplace, you are free to chart your own course, Go and come as you wish. So live your life, go ahead and buy (provided it is in your budget) that Harley Davidson and join a motorcycle gang. But for those who have neither the means nor inclination to cruise the open road on two motorized wheels there are a plethora of alternatives ranging from reading to skydiving and everything in between.

Having promised to spotlight some fun healthy activities it is necessary to reiterate a phrase my grandmother often used when doing certain tasks ie“the old gray mule aint what it used to be”. With this in mind, as a precaution it is recommended that before starting any kind of exercise routine you consult with your doctor for the purpose of ensuring that the proposed activity is suitable based on any pre- existing medical condition(s). If bodybuilding and body sculpting is your thing, an annual membership to the gym and a contract with a personal trainer will be much more economical than paying per session. Remember that fun and healthy does not have to be expensive. Walking is the least expensive form of exercise and by far the most popular among retired persons as it poses less risk for injury. You may choose to walk with a friend or a group. It is an added benefit if you take your phone along and listen to your favourite playlist or radio station as you walk faster and longer. Most smart phones have health apps which allow you to measure your steps, activate yours.  Challenge a colleague to see how many steps you can do in a day and compare with your friends. For my part, I have been instructed to share my steps with my friend daily so that she can see I am still alive. Whatever you do have fun doing it even while having to spend no money. Join the early swimmers at Crocus Bay and Shoal Bay every morning and catch up on the day before happenings. Engage in some yoga, walking or jogging at the beach in Sandy Hill. For a more solitary sojourn walk the beach at Maunday’s Bay or along the stretch by Great House.

Choose what is right for you. My story will differ from yours. I still own my golf clubs but that sport became too expensive based on my budget, my tennis racket needs re-stringing but knee issues delay the repair, for table tennis and chess a second person is required to play, without an agreeable person I am unable to. Hence, it is through necessary circumstance that my regular healthy activities of choice these days have become walking, yoga, swimming, and dancing.  Next time we will explore other possibilities to keep engaged. 

money matters

Saving for a rainy day is such a trite cliché. That is, until the day you retire and your disposable income is drastically reduced while the ordinary expenses remain the same and there is a shortfall. This signals the arrival of your rainy day for which you saved.  The anomaly of expense exceeding income can be disconcerting for those persons who did not properly plan for retirement. On the day you retire you should have no large outstanding debts like mortgage payments, car loans, or personal loan payments.  Those persons who met with, had discussions and acted upon the advice of a Financial Advisor and or Estate Planner years before, will appreciate the result at this stage, due to the fact that the monthly pension payments together with proceeds from their diversified financial portfolio adequately provide the assurance that there will be no interruption in their standard of living or the ability to enjoy life as a true retiree.

Conversely, the retiree who finds himself in the unfortunate (if only I knew then) position of not having planned appropriately, all is not lost, though he must consider ways to supplement his income. A formal meeting with a Banker or other Financial Advisor is highly recommended in the hopes of refinancing loans and lowering monthly payments to make them more manageable. Seeking employment outside the home may be necessary or turning a hobby or passion into a revenue generating activity are the choices. Playing the daily lottery is not an option. More sober options would include cooking, baking, crafting or blogging. Find your niche and create a business empire from home.   

Having less money to spend will require the retiree to meticulously prepare a budget and prioritize. One can be frugal without giving up the niceties. This however requires research. Look out for promotions and advertisement of events that are free which you would enjoy. Remember that as a senior sometimes discounts are available, ask about those. Team up with your BFF and do things without having to go out of pocket, the possibilities are endless. In my next blog I will spotlight some healthy fun activities you could consider giving  a try.   

the preamble

This first post covers the WHY…not very exciting but necessary to provide the backdrop for the subsequent posts that will cover what and how. 

A few short months ago I separated from the Anguilla Public Service (APS), the largest employer on the island, where I held a senior managerial position within the Executive branch of Government. Each year on average 10 persons retire from the APS unsure of the next steps. In the past decade the APS has held two workshops aimed to prepare persons, months prior to their retirement.  Due to poor attendance and the small numbers it was not cost effective to continue to hold the workshops. Most retirees were of the view that the APS workshop was too late in their career and therefore of little or no value. While I agree the workshop would be more beneficial at least 5 years prior, any information at anytime is always useful and can be of great value. I spoke with a number of persons that had retired before I did and some that left with me. The revelations were astonishing. Suffice it to say, the outcome of my consultation led to the decision to create this medium.

Most persons retiring from the APS would have gotten a letter thanking them for their service, I did too. If you retired in the recent past you would also have received a mug similar to the one pictured above. I share with you, in the picture below, a letter I also received when I demitted office.

Persons retiring from the private industry will not have the same experience as the Public officer when they retire. However, post retirement whether private or public we share both financial and emotional similarities. AUHAWI aims to provide Advice that is Useful Helpful Advantageous and Instructive through facts and tips that are simple and easy to understand. The next post will speak about if we knew then what we know now, from a financial perspective.